(no subject)

[pebblerocker]

What a trip back in time I've had! After a discussion with spiralsheep and capri0mni on handwriting a while ago, I dug out my old diaries to look for data on when I learnt cursive and how long it took me to get good at it. Whether it was developing co-ordination, or mechanical practice, or mental concentration powers, I finally started producing consistently legible cursive at age 14. It could even be that I just didn't feel like using cursive until that point for aesthetic reasons.

I was given one of those little lockable diaries when I was nine, and I've kept writing ever since. I haven't read over them for years, and I'm glad I did, not just for the handwriting, or for the memories; I've been trying to recover a fictional universe I made up back then, and there were some useful lists of character names written in the front of my diary from the year I was twelve.

Reading the record of my thoughts back then makes me want to write letters to my past self; I want to tell 12-year-old me that some of those wishes and hopes will come true, if not in the way I'd expect, and most importantly to write down my stories instead of keeping most of them in my head, and to archive them where they won't get lost if I move house half a dozen times. Of course I can't go back in time with advice for my past self... but I can extrapolate a message from my future self, and make sure to write down all the stories I have going around in my head now.

Comments

[jekesta]

What a brilliant connection to your past. And future. I got rid of all my old diaries a while ago (because they were mostly full of depression and just upset me; it felt very freeing to let go of them) but I did keep lots of different bits of my handwriting from years gone by, and I think looking at it make me connect with my past self/memories much more than photos do.

[pebblerocker]

There are volumes I'll probably never read again. The diaries from when I was 11 and 12 are full of building things and swimming at the beach and having fun with friends and inventing fantasy lands and spaceships, but I had to stop reading when I got to the year I turned 15 and moved away from the house I grew up in and my friends. From there on it's all going to be gloom and eating disordery stuff. Actually I don't know when they would get bearable again, maybe only in the last couple of years. I do think things are better now and it only took HALF MY LIFE to stop being miserable.

OMG is your umbrella icon in conversation with my umbrella icon, because that is brilliant \o/

[jekesta]

>> it only took HALF MY LIFE to stop being miserable

Half your life so far, but a TINY proportion of your life if we all get the treatments and live to be 500. That's how I'm looking at it :)

(And yes, I have to resist replying to you with scully's umbrella pretty much every time we talk! Also your icon is one of my favourites ever, I don't know if I've ever told you that.)

[spiralsheep]

Oh, wow. I'm so glad your re-read was a positive experience, and I hope your now-future self heeds the excellent advice on sharing your thoughts (because I always enjoy it when you do - fiction or not).

I'm glad I didn't keep diaries when I was a kid, but I do wish I'd kept a reading list!

[jekesta]

>> but I do wish I'd kept a reading list

OH GOD YES, how amazing that would be, just to have even a small chance of tracking down half remembered books.

[spiralsheep]

First fandom and then t'interwebz have both been helpful in identifying some titles and authors but a reading list would be so much more useful, and for other things too: e.g. I'd love to know precisely how old I was when I first read Lord of the Rings (I think my memory is is accurate but... who knows?).

[pebblerocker]

You know what, the first place I looked for handwriting evidence was my reading list! I started keeping it because I was being homeschooled and it was helpful to be able to show the Educational Review Office that I was reading at an appropriate level - we did not prune or embellish it, so it's full of the adventures of Super Gran and the Famous Five and Nancy Drew, which may not be impressive but should at least have reassured them that I wasn't abnormal. It's in an exercise book covered with a collage of pictures of book covers cut from flyers from those book clubs where they offer you cheap books if you buy full-price books every month; I kept it pretty religiously for years, and then forgot about it so there's a six-year gap, but then I found it again and I'm still entering books in it. So handy for jogging memories!

[spiralsheep]

::ENVIES your reading list::

[lenores_raven]

Reading the record of my thoughts back then makes me want to write letters to my past self
I didn't have a diary as a kid, I only started to write when I was already working. But still, I sometimes think I would like to write to my past self.

When I re-read some old diaries of mine, I sometimes can't believe it was me who wrote that. I've had an idea once to delete all the files, but I'm glad I didn't, because it may be the only connection with the past me.

[pebblerocker]

I suppose I never got rid of anything because I liked my past self better than my current self for such a long time!

My friend used to write letters to her future self and seal them up to be opened in a year's time, or five years' time. I thought that was a cool idea but never wrote one myself because I didn't know what I should say.

[lenores_raven]

I see...

I did it once via futureme.org. :-) And I was very surprised to receive the email. Then I thought 'you know nothing about me, young lady' and deleted the letter. :-))

[vjezkova.livejournal.com]

I think this is endearing. I mean not only the writing but mainly the bond with your young SELF.:-)